Althouse has a post linking to a very funny essay about telegrams.

Dot-Dot-Dot, Dash-Dash-Dash, No More – New York Times

Both Mark Twain and Arthur Conan Doyle supposedly sent similar telegrams to a dozen prominent men, all of whom packed up and left town immediately.

FLEE AT ONCE – ALL IS DISCOVERED.

Western Union charged by the word, turning the loquacious terse, and sometimes ambiguous. A reporter asked the actor Cary Grant about his age.

HOW OLD CARY GRANT?

The actor supposedly replied:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE. HOW YOU?